What do you call a moist cracker?
Garbage. Ha!
It’s funny, because crackers are great. Wheat Thins, Triscuits, graham crackers, Ritz, saltines, soda crackers, and soup crackers are all great. They can also be made from a variety of ingredients (wheat, quinoa, seeds, and other grains) and can include delicious things like cheese, herbs, or seasonings. We crush them in soup, layer them with cheese, and spread condiments on them for amazing snacks. One of the properties that’s important in a cracker is crispiness. We don’t want them so dry that they fall apart at tooth impact, and we really don’t want them soggy, moist or—God forbid—wet. This would defeat the point of having a cracker. When was the last time you had a wet cracker? Exactly…we don’t want them in or life. Another interesting fact about crackers is that most of them aren’t technically bread. Or, more specifically, they are unleavened bread. (No yeast) True, they have some of the same key ingredients as bread (milled grains, seeds, etc) but they aren’t a soft, moist slice of bread.
Did you know, saltines have exactly 13 holes in each cracker? They are laid out in a pattern of 3-2-3-2-3
“Entertainment Crackers”
Speaking of crackers, I’ve seen some crackers specifically labeled as “entertainment crackers.”
Hmmm… okay, great. To me, this is a stamp of approval that if I serve them on a charcuterie board at a dinner party, people will love them. But what if I eat them by myself on a Tuesday night… there is no entertainment happening. Will the box explode as a result? Am I a loser for eating them alone in the dark? TBD…
Cheers!